I have moved!! I would love it if you would come and follow me at my new location! If you are subscribed to my blog via email, please join me at my new homehttp://www.LoveDesignLife.com. If you are following via WordPress.com, please consider subscribing at my new location as this blog is NOW SHUT DOWN.

New and better things will be happening at my new location! Giveaways, contests, freebies etc.! Don’t miss any of it. Please join me there for even more great posts as well!

Peace & Light

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I am moving and I would love it if you would come with me! If you are subscribed to my blog via email, please join me at my new home http://www.LoveDesignLife.com. If you are following via WordPress.com, please consider subscribing at my new location as this blog will be shut down on January 15th!

New and better things will be happening at my new location! Giveaways, contests, freebies etc.! Don’t miss any of it. Please join me there for even more great posts as well!

Peace & Light

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Seduction of SM!


Seduction of SM!

In one arena over 1 billion are served. Another boasts 4 million uses per day. Yet another has over 1.2 million engaged. Sounds like something you must be a part of or at least be aware of? Well, I bet you already are and in every instance you may be part and parcel of those numbers I have given. These are the numbers in each instance of Social Media users and followers.

Social Media is simply the bonafide hands down way to go for the new millennium! For everything from business to love, you can find an outlet on the internet to build, fix or create all from a social media service. Along with this new invaluable service comes a very real issue that many are falling under the seduction of. The seduction I speak of is the desire for one to act out with drama! Just like in real life where you can find drama filled folks in almost every public forum cutting up and drawing attention, you can also find them on Facebook, Twitter and the like. They will be holding court via salacious statuses, pointed criticism and pity party comments. Some even posts photos that are questionable at the very least. All to illicit comments from viewers. Good comment or bad, it doesn’t matter to them because they can easily spin the bad into a tirade of how folks are just hating and are jealous.

Unless you are a rock star about to drop your 3rd album, winning your second Academy award, or breaking every record as a star athlete, you don’t have haters. People just don’t like you! ~Catkins

Haters? really? Last year that was easily the most popular catch word. Almost everyone who had any issue with someone or felt that they were being treated unfairly, proclaimed that they were the victim of a haters. Unless you are a rock star about to drop your 3rd album, winning your second Academy award, or breaking every record as a star athlete, you don’t have haters. People just don’t like you! And why don’t people like you? The reasons could be many. People have a very short tolerance and a very keen sense for individuals who complain about something while they themselves are perpetrating that same thing. So, if you are complaining about having so many haters yet on your statuses you can be found at any given time talking maliciously about someone else, well you do the math.

You may wonder why are those people so drawn to this type of limelight if in fact they feel so many are against them and they so want to be left alone and not chastised and hated. It is actually not too difficult to understand. People with various dysfunctions more than anything else want a forum and an audience to entertain their complaints and mania. What they lack most is the ability to feel important, loved, appreciated and cared for. In a nutshell, no pun intended, they want to feel worthy. But as I have said before, sometimes in a persons quest to feel loved, they are unable to go the direct route. They find it is easier to portray bad behavior cause while they may not get the love, they are assured of getting the attention. Even though the attention is negative they rationalize it this way, if they were not all that you would not be trying to knock them down. Simply put, their ego gets the stroking it needs so whether the attention is good or bad it is all good for them. People who lack self-love and self-acceptance can very easily become egomaniacs. The ego is always there to take over the psyche and feed on all things self serving. Egomaniacs are drawn to social media like a moth to the proverbial flame! That forum can be a shangri la for those who are in desperate need to feel loved an appreciated through public approval.

As we get deeper and deeper into the culture of social media, there is no doubt that we will see many more meltdowns, class clowns and folks who are just plain out of bounds. People lacking self-love are still out there and plentiful. Next to scoring a role on a reality tv show, social media is ready and available anytime they are in need of having their very own “close up”.

Peace & Light

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/CarollAtkins #LoveDesignLife

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Successful dreams sponsored by broke pockets

Successful dreams…


It is the one without two nickels to rub together, who can sit and think long enough to conceive a plan.  This plan will be nurtured with hard work and dedicated passion to the point it becomes a living and waking dream. That dream creates a lifestyle that is in total support of itself hence giving way to the ultimate realization of what it has now created and that is, a successful life.

Peace & Light

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/CarollAtkins #LoveDesignLife

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2014, Year of the Horse, time to shine!

2014, Year of the Horse

As we get ready to usher in 2014, we say good bye to many things and look forward to many more. For some like myself, 2013 was a trying year filled with ups and downs but mostly I gained a tremendous amount of wisdom from the trials and the diligent work I put in. The Chinese calendar heralds 2013 as The Year of the Snake, the water snake to be exact. In Chinese culture, snakes are thought to be filled with wisdom and patience. They plant the seeds and wait patiently for it to manifest. Snakes are also filled with intuition. For many, I am sure they experienced a year that brought them face to face with these aspects of life. Also known as the teacher, I can honestly say 2013 taught me quite a bit.

So, I welcome 2014, the year of the Horse. The horse symbol is a symbol of power. This year will prove to be a great one for those who are looking to have a stronger stance in career, love, money and position. Of course the individuals born in a Horse year (1918-1919, 1930-1931, 1942-1943, 1954-1955, 1966-1967, 1978-1979, 1990-1991, 2002-2003, 2014-2015) will more directly benefit from its offerings. However, everyone will feel the effects and more importantly you can use the predisposed atmospheric goings on to help favor your endeavors. With all the lessons learned in 2013 and the hard work done, 2014 presents a great opportunity to yield that highly desired fruit. Any undertaking one may choose to do in this year has the potential to be a galloping success. If you have been waiting for your time to shine and become front and center in the limelight this is your year! No longer should you wonder if it is your turn, this is the year to claim it! No one can hold you back!

2014 will also be a great time to accomplish community projects. Many can get over huge hurdles to find success in community organization and the like. Working together will prove to be easier and more fruitful. Communication will flow. We will be able to communicate in many ways, what we need and how we plan on getting it. The year of the Horse is a time of optimism, so for those of you who are naturally optimistic, this will prove to be a great year for you. Many can already feel the energy coming through, I know I can.

Finally, it must be noted that the Year of the Horse is not for the slow to act. Quick-witted personalities will further their goals tremendously. This year will prove to be unpredictable with lots of twists and turns. You will have to remain nimble and have a go with the flow attitude if you are to be successful. If you are able to carry on with integrity and without the care and opinions of others you will thrive! People born under the sign of the Tiger, Sheep and Dog will also personally enjoy the benefits of this year. As a Sheep, I am looking forward to this year and its many opportunities.

To all who have taken the time to subscribe to my blog and read my musings, I humbly thank you.  Here’s to a fantastic, peaceful, prosperous and loving New Year! Cheers

Peace & Light

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/CarollAtkins #LoveDesignLife

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Not another resolution…

Not another resolution…

No more resolutions! Instead reserve that you will live your life the best you can every single day! ~Catkins 2013

I mean why do we make them when 3-6 weeks into the new year we have broken if not obliterated them. Well, you won’t hear a resolution from me. Nope, I am not resolving to do anything. Instead I am going to revise, realize and resonate.

I will revise any plans from the previous year that were not accomplished. If I gave it a reasonable amount of time to accomplish, and it did not happen then I am sure more time will not make it happen. This could be for many reason, but they cannot become excuses, so I must now focus on revising if I want to see my goals become a reality.

In my revision exercise I will pay particular attention to see if in fact that goal is one I still want to realize. Sometimes it can be the things I am doing or not doing that keeps the goal at bay and other times it may become evident that I now have to accept that this goal is no longer applicable to my life. There are times when you just get so caught up in life and what you say you want to do that you don’t evaluate to see if in fact what you said you wanted to do still fits with where your life is going. When my mum got ill earlier this year, I had to put aside my plans to travel, however I was still working on projects meant to be accomplished for the up coming travel schedule. I guess I just thought it still could happen. Well, that’s what a new year is for. It is the perfect time for revisions!

Last but not least, for me this is the perfect time to let what happened this year resonate fully with me. Thinking of what was the great, the good, the bad, and yes the ugly is so cathartic. I let it all resonate with me so I can take the lessons and transitions any pain that still may linger. For me, the new year is  a great time to leave any emotional baggage behind and it has always been my way of building my wisdom and increasing my awareness of my life that continues to be in transition. It could be a great time for you too! Consider resonating instead of a resolution and from that make solid plans and goals.

Years ago I would make resolutions but they rarely worked. They did not work because they were always for something I had been doing for a while that was so habitual to me that trying to go cold turkey was just very impractical. Then I would have that failure feeling when I eventually caved. Does that happen to you? Last year I vowed to do something every day no matter how little to help me feel like I am accomplishing something. It worked really well and inspired me to continue with this plan. Do you think this can work for you? Last new year instead of vowing to loose X amount of pounds, I decided that I would drink less juice and increase my water intake. I also decided to start using my Arbonne products and eat all my meals on saucers with half the food on there being a vegetable or fruit. All of those were easy to do because there wasn’t a set amount I wanted to decrease of anything, I just wanted to start doing it so it would become a lifestyle change. I knew the side effect wold be weight loss. Guess what? It worked! 20lbs down and counting and I never once felt deprived or restricted. I was not a slave to the scale either.

So much is changing for me for the better all because I approach every situation with a mindset of love. I lovingly talk to myself about what I want to change and set a plan in place that is reasonable and not harsh. Yes, I do love the new year! And you can too. Simply make a dedication that the next 365 days will be used to let love design your life to create a more pleasing and enjoyable existence.

Peace & Light

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/CarollAtkins #LoveDesignLife

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Home for the holidays, maybe! Tips to overcome holiday stress.

Home for the holidays, maybe! Tips to overcome stress.

On TV, we see these great commercials depicting wonderful holiday gatherings. Like a Norman Rockwell painting. Grandma and grandpa hold court while all the children and grandchildren gather around the table preceded by a merry choreographed routine in the kitchen where all the beautiful meals are being prepared using trusted ages old recipes. The family camaraderie and love is so evident you wish this was your family. Yes, I said wish it was your family because your family is anything but this. At times, lets just say if your family was compared to a painting it would be more like the Scream!

The holidays are fast approaching and you are dreading having to go to certain family gatherings. Maybe you are a wife whose husband’s family is not to welcoming and your mother-in-law is of the meddling variety. You just know she is going to inquisition you about something. Or you are the son whose uncle is known to get drunk and let off on every and any one. Maybe you are the daughter that finally got away and started your own family and you dread coming home and having your children exposed to your foul mouthed aunt who never married and is a veritable curmudgeon. Whatever the reason, many of us have these toxic relatives that we do not see all year round except during the holidays when we are obligated to attend. Or maybe it is just that you did not have a particularly wonderful childhood. Maybe your memories of holidays involved divorce, poverty or even death. It is fair to say that not everyone is excited to go home for the holidays!

So what can you do to cope through this time? Other than fast forwarding the days to January 2, how can you make it through the holidays with little to no stress? The first thing you should do is think about just how much you need to participate in all the events planned. Are there any expectations of you? Such as, are you expected to bring a certain dish to Christmas dinner? Are you required to go to a certain home? Are there traditions that has been done that typically bring you stress and you really don’t see the need to do it, but your family insist you must? Well, take the time to list the reasons why you should or shouldn’t do any of it. Remember you have a choice EVEN if your family makes it seem like it is wholly your responsibility. Let the evaluation of these reasons determine what you will do, what you can change and what you won’t do. And yes, there will be people who will be upset that you have either changed the “tradition” or chosen not to do it and yes they will be upset, but rationalize it this way. Can you accept some people getting upset and getting over it, instead of you agonizing over something that brings you much stress? You can always choose to offer them an alternative that you can feel good about and let them know you are not callous about not performing your expected duty, but you just need to do certain things the way that you too can feel comfortable with. Let them know things have changed FOR YOU and you are no longer comfortable doing it that way or even at all.  Some may not even mind that you have made a change or substitute especially if it is something new and exciting.

In the case of the unhappy memories you may harbor at holiday time, take some time to think ahead  on how to work on associating different memories with the holidays. Decide that you don’t have to associate the old and past with the present. Become aware of what is going on now and maybe even the new people that have joined the family, and don’t worry about how things should have been and be an active participant on how it can be now. You may try to plan on telling some positive stories of people who may now be gone. Storytelling is always a great way to bring up some great memories at the same time further bonding family members.  If your stress stems from toxic family members, be realistic. Do not expect that the holiday will be the time they have a breakthrough and decide that they need to apologize and be more positive. Do not focus on them and their behavior. Focus more on yourself and how you will avoid getting tangled up in their drama. Make a conscious decision not to be dragged into any conflict by simply not participating. Finally, if all else fails, plan on spending as little time as possible in that environment. It maybe that you can take a couple of hours or a couple of days of these events, but staying longer would further compound your stress and discomfort. We all have a role to play in our family dynamics and to enjoy some aspects of it may leave us exposed to other not so savory situations.

The holidays are about giving, sharing, love and yes forgiveness but understanding that not everyone is on the same page at this time, and the first step to inoculating yourself from JOY stealing stress is to know at the end of it all, you do have a choice!

Peace & Light

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/CarollAtkins #LoveDesignLife

Posted in Communication, Control, Forgiveness, Happiness, Honoring, Love, Peace, Relationships, Respect | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why he will NEVER pop THE QUESTION!


Man+Love=Marriage, not always!

You love him, he definitely loves you. He tells you he loves you and he does loving things for you. Still it is several years and he has not made the ultimate commitment of marriage. So, you wait and you are patient. Still nothing! You become anxious and you start to look for answers as to why he won’t commit. You consult everything from your girlfriend to magazines to his guy friends. It leaves you even more confused than before and now you have all those people up in your business because you have invited them by confiding in them. The frustration grows!

Why won’t he commit? Now, here it comes! The self-doubt and sometimes anger at the situation. So you bring it up to him again and again. Is it something you are doing or not doing you ask? He assures you you are fine baby. But you are not feeling fine, you are feeling confused but mostly, you are feeling like you are ready to settle down and become a wife. So for you the matter is not settled. You think to yourself, are you good enough? Sexy enough? Is your sex good? You are asking all those questions convinced that it must be something WRONG with YOU and that is why he is not committing. But he has told you he loves you, you’re great!

Well, it is time to stop thinking about YOU and start thinking about HIM. Not what he is not giving you or what he should be doing for you, but what is it that he needs. You see, most men make decisions based on one thing. Their GUT! As women, mostly we make decision emotionally and through our heart. Even when we say we are not following our heart and try to make a decision based on what our brain says, we still revert back to our emotions because we are emotional creatures. Men are not emotional creatures. Yes, they do feel emotions strong emotions like the kind that lets them know that they love you. That is real to them and for them, but not enough for them. Not when it comes to making a decision that will impact their life. Women listen to their intuition, men listen to their gut. They listen to what their gut is telling them.

A man’s gut feelings is what directs him and helps him make major decisions. While their gut can at times be in sync with his heart and emotions, it is not always that way. I know you may be saying what does his gut feelings have to do with him getting married IF in fact he loves me and he acknowledges this? Well, men’s gut feelings are a lot like our intuition. It is that little voice that says BUT. I love her, but she does not support me like I would want my wife and partner to support me. I love her but, she does not encourage me to let down my armor and reveal all of me. I love her, but will she still love me if I had nothing to give and wondering what my next move is going to be. These are the things every man needs to have an answer to before he makes that ultimate commitment. Men want us to love the real them, but because they are men they are not taught to show the real them. To be vulnerable and open. Only a woman who can put her wants aside to view this man on not only the surface but deep down will see this and work to nurture him in a way that will let him know he can trust her and depend on her and consequently open up to her. 20 different sex positions don’t matter really. Sexiest, tightest body is nice but a warm, caring, giving heart trumps that for real, ready to commit men.

When a man gets to the place where he is actually thinking about marriage these are some of the pivotal things that is on his mind and these are some of the things he must see in a woman. You can’t fake him out, trick him or even give him ultimatums. You just can’t fool your way around this. You have to truly be about HIM. Making grand gestures where you show the ultimate trust in him is priceless to men who want to find a wife. Oh, they will be with you even if you are whiny, crying and spoiled. They may even indulge some of it, but if in all that they don’t see where you are wholly committed to them, their comfort and happiness what makes them tick, what their dreams are and how you can help them achieve it, then they are not going to marry you! Women marry for love and security and men marry for love and support. Men want to be loved for who they really are, but for them to show you who they really are they have to be comfortable and confident when they are looking that they see the real you!


Peace & Light

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/CarollAtkins #LoveDesignLife

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They may say I’m a dreamer…

They may say I'm a dreamer…

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe. ~Gail Devers

But my dreams, my dreams are amazing! They are vivid! They are life giving! I think of them as real possibilities just waiting. Waiting to take root, take form, be born. Become my reality! You see that’s what dreams are. They are gleaming seeds of luminosity. Developing into bright, amazing pictures of my future. What I can have, what I will have! I will not listen to them. The ones that say to dream is a waste of my time. Focus on what you are doing now they say. What do they know! They probably are too scared to dream. Or maybe they stopped dreaming a long time ago because they had no faith. They simply did not believe.

So, I close my eyes and I tilt my head up to the sky, the heavens and I breathe in the air of confusion, chaos, hard work, persistence, and it swirls around in my senses where it fuels my fertile imagination and stirs my field of dreams. My dreams do not just live in my mind, they are to me, very real glimpses of my future. A waste of time they say. Whereas most are trying to survive, I want to LIVE. Dreams are what the living have, everyone else, well they have nightmares!

Peace & Light

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/CarollAtkins #LoveDesignLife


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5 Ways to survive the holidays, SINGLE!

5 Ways to survive the holidays, single!

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ~William Arthur Ward

The holidays are fast approaching and your heart is beating fast. Why? Because here you are with no significant other! No, boo! No, honey! And yes, you are dreading it. After all what are the holidays without someone to love on and have them love on you! While I will not downplay that sharing the holidays with a special loved one can make it quite magical and wonderful, this is not the only way to have a special holiday season.

First things first; it is my most fervent belief that we can thank Madison Avenue for many things about the holidays that we have come to love and accept. Things like wearing a certain outfit, giving and getting gifts, decorations and of course food, food, food! So, the consumerism ways of Madison Avenue cannot just stop there. Why not hype up the fact that people are feeling very happy to be together and make them believe that they should do something about it. Something like buy jewelry, cars, etc. And don’t forget the ultimate holiday celebration, a proposal!  So, we see all these ads of happy couples frolicking around and oh so happy to be together and have each other. Their dialogue is all about how they are so fortunate to have each other especially at this time of the year. Is it no wonder when we are solo we feel almost like an oddity?

I say it is time to rethink the holidays! There is so much more that goes on at that time of year that deserve our attention. If you have a significant other, enjoy them, but if you don’t, below are 5 activities that can help you get over this time and also make you feel a whole lot better not to mention spreading some joy among some really needy folks. They will prove to be very rewarding and will increase your love quotient and make you feel appreciated and needed.

1. Volunteer – Think about it, the people you volunteer to help are not worried about more than just a loved one, they are worried that they have no one at all to love them. Whether it is serving food at a Soup Kitchen or playing Santa to sick children or even volunteering at a home for abused women, this is the gift that gives you right back.

2. Visiting a Nursing home – How great would it be to adopt a resident of the nursing home and visit them from Thanksgiving straight through to the new year. When other residents are getting visitors, there are always those who have no one coming to see them. To spend this time with them will definitely give them a boost and will boost your spirits as well.

3. Visting the Children’s hospital – Alas, some of the people who love and enjoy the wonder of the holidays the most are children. Even though many hospitals try to make it as festive as they can for the children, they will be the first to welcome anyone who wants to volunteer to help them make it as fun as possible.

4. Reach out to other single people – Although it may feel like you are the only one who is single, you are not. Whether it is someone who recently got divorced, or lost a loved one or just broke up with their girlfriend/boyfriend, you may not have to look very far to find a few such folks. They may very well be people that you already know well. Why not host a pot luck or white elephant party for singles. Single people just want to enjoy celebrating too! Like you, they may not want to be alone either. With all there is to think about when you are facing the holidays alone, what a great diversion it would be to coordinate such an event. Now you have something else to occupy your mind and also look forward to.

5. Gratitude – I would be remiss if I did not mention what the holidays are supposed to be about in the first place. It is about gratitude. Giving to others, thanking others, and remembering what others have done is and should be the theme of this time of year. Here is a perfect opportunity to reflect on what you DO have. You cannot have a woe is me attitude when you are practicing a gratitude attitude! Make a concerted effort to think of all those who do love you and think of ways you can let them know you appreciate their love and care. This may be a great time to start chronicling all the love that you do have in your life and all the things that you can be grateful for.

Loneliness at holiday time is common and occurs for one reason or the other. Examine your feelings and make sure that this is just a phase and not a permanent situation that you are in. The cure for your average loneliness is to surround yourself with friends and family. Take advantage of this as much as possible. Visit people who have not seen you in a while, make the rounds. Reinvigorate friendships and bolster family relations. Remember holidays are about gratitude of friends and family and not just one specific person. Let as many enjoy your presence as possible cause with everything else in life good or bad, this too shall pass!

Peace & Light

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/CarollAtkins #LoveDesignLife

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