Are you using armor to self protect?

Are you using armor to self protect?

 

That suit of amor you are wearing, is it heavy? I mean I know the ones from the days of old were. But this one that you are wearing, this figurative one, the one that keeps you hidden so no one can truly see who you are, is that one heavy too? Maybe it is one that keeps you hidden so you don’t have to actually be yourself and have people inevitably judge you. See, you protect yourself from the judgement because you are sure it will be coming, after all you have so many self-proclaimed faults. Oh, I know which one it is! It is the one that allows you to not exercise the responsibility needed before you act or speak. No matter which one it is, I know it has got to be getting heavy and cumbersome.

How do you know when someone is wearing armor? Well, there are many ways to tell. Attitudes that you may not have previously thought were indicative of someone who is hiding or protecting themselves. Attitudes you may have just chalked up to bad behavior, which it certainly is, but as we all know, there is a reason for everything bad behavior included. So, if we care we must take a deeper look. Many times they are really in need of someone taking the time to ask them why they feel the need to act in such a manner. Yes, I know at times it takes guts, but what it really takes is a high level of care and concern. Take for instance, we all know that person that gossips incessantly. While some of the information intrigues us and gets our attention, there are times when we think, heck if they are gossiping to me about someone else, they must be doing the same thing with someone else and I am the topic. We know that gossiping never resolves any issues, but if someone chooses to do this constantly, maybe they are trying to avoid the next gossip topic be them! Hence the gossip armor! Then there is the straight talking, tough talking at times argumentative person. Oh yeah, nobody is going to get over on this person. No way! At the same time they will let you know nothing gets to them, they are tough as nails, no emotions to trip up this cookie! Sometimes they argue just for the sake of arguing. Yes, yes, yes you can be sure that this most dramatic and drastic act is more than likely hiding some pretty painful past hurts and life events. Nobody is born to be tough and aggressive or defensive at all times. They get that way based on prior events. Or more than likely they get that way because of things that happened to them that they had no control over. Child abuse is very definitely a reason as is many other childhood wrongs. Sarcasm, judging, controlling and cynicism are also behaviors that many armor wearing people hide behind. By now I think you get the idea that these well known bad behaviors have a reason and the reason more often than not is to hide or protect the perpetrator. As crazy as it may seem, what we have to realize is that bad behavior is easy. It does not require thought and most of all it does not require love and of course at the root of everything good or bad is love or the lack there of.

So far I have given some largely negative behaviors. But you would be surprised to know that some behaviors we all see as pretty positive can be indicative of armor? Ever met a people pleaser? Yes, these folks are usually the first ones to volunteer to do something or always there with a solution to something. If they don’t have one they will find one. They are relentless in their mission to make sure everyone sees them as the helpful, I’ll get it done for you, perky personality. Now, I am not saying that all people who enjoy being helpful are people pleasers. What I am saying is that these people if they are not able to please, become very depressed and anxious about what people will think about them. They will typically have issues that center-around what so and so is thinking and is this one or that one mad at them because they did not water the plants. Yes, it can be a simple thing to a major thing, the despair is the same. They are also the same personalities that can be very apologetic and over-commitment is part of their repertoire.

Finally, there are behaviors that for the most part go under the radar and many may not really notice. Behaviors like perfectionism and detachment are in fact armor like behavior. Trying to be perfect in all that you do and say is tiring to be sure, but some prefer it over the other scenario. The more they can make you believe that they are and do everything in a perfect way, the less you will point out any faults and therefore possibly loose your love for them. Again, the root of these behaviors is love. They are so fearful to loose it or for some who have never had it, they practice detachment. Who cares right? Who cares about anything? Whatever you cannot control, who cares! But they do care, and what’s more they want someone to care. Care what they think, care who the are, Care enough to realize that they deserve and are worthy of love. Detached personalities care way more than even they can understand.

In the days of old, going into battle was made safer by the use of armor. It was a protection that was necessary because the enemy was vigilant and had only one agenda and that was to eliminate you. However, in our lives we do have battles but we have a better, more enlightened way to fight. The wonderful and versatile tool of love is all you need. Let it work for you, let it cover you and let it save you. You may use it infinitely! Love will always keep you safe!

Peace & Light

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/CarollAtkins

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About Caroll Atkins

Loving Designing Living!! All forms of design intrigue me. As a graphic designer, I design for my livelihood (C.A.SlyDesigns) but as a writer, I do it for my living! At this time in my life, I MUST write. LoveDesignLife, is my joy and my gift to you. If my articles resonate with you, I pray they will also help you in life much as living them and writing about them has helped me. Today, it is no longer about thinking outside of the box. It’s bigger!! It is all about “Transcending the sphere!” coined by yours truly. I work hard to accomplish my goals. However, if I ever fall short I don’t worry I just eat cake cause tomorrow is another day!!
This entry was posted in Forgiveness, Happiness, Love, Peace, Relationships, Self-Love, Self-Respect and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Are you using armor to self protect?

  1. Anonymous says:

    We can all relate to this. The idea of using the armor to protect oneself is brilliant. If you’ve been hurt,you never want that feeling again. You must free yourself to enjoy life. I like this. DorisL

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