What Type Of Woman Attracts Men…

Woman Wearing Flower in Hair

…you ask?  All types. But in this article I am going to talk about the types of women we portray THINKING that it will attract and keep a man.

Many girls as they come into woman hood, start to give thought as to what type of woman they want to be. More specifically, they want to know how to conduct themselves as a woman in love relationships. They want to make sure they are setting the ground rules as to how they want a man to treat them, or for that matter, how they will not allow a man to treat them.  Early on, we tend to be pretty confident in what we want in a man albeit it may not grounded all the way in future reality, as we have yet to totally understand who we are and what our needs are as opposed to our wants. But I digress…what I really want to talk about is what kind of women we become in our pursuit to finding that ‘right” man.

To that end, I have identified some personality types that we become in order to get the love we want and deserve.

Clean Up Woman
This woman is always there to help him with everything from losing his job, to helping him pay bills even child support, to allowing him to live with her responsibility free while he “gets his act together”. Some are available as he is coming out of another relationship and of course he is so bereft from this situation that he needs a good “friend”. Closely resembling the mother figure type, the only difference is these women are also having sex with these guys as they now feel invested in these men and believe that a relationship can be built. Of course the men are taking advantage of these women in every way they can. You see, if a man is willing to take you up on this type of very personal help, when he is not your significant other, trust me he will have no qualms about having sex with you as well. The worst part is, these men typically leave these women when they get stronger, for women who have a higher standard. The one thing all men want and find interesting and attractive in a woman is self-worth and strength of character.

Link A Buddy Woman
This woman has a high sex drive and just cannot be without a lover or more specifically, she cannot do without sex. However, she does not want to be entertaining many different men, so she latches on to that player type man who makes sex quite available. After some time, she commences to believe in her mind that they have a relationship, simply because he keeps coming back to her for sex. Typically she is very good sexually and that is one of the main reasons the men keep coming back and, she is available. As soon as that relationship looks like it is about to fizzle out, she is already on the hunt for the next man who can fill the impending vacancy. This woman just does not believe that she can have a real relationship either because she does not feel worthy or she thinks that no man is capable of being a partnership material type guy. Men accommodate this woman because she asks for little to nothing from him. He has free reign and no accountability. They call her a “friend with benefits”.

A man who is accountable to no one, is a danger to himself. ~Iyanla Vanzant

I Love You But…Woman
You guessed it, men are always saying that to her. It appears that she can be loved, but not firmly committed to. Men come into her life, use her up for all her kindness and sweetness, but will not give her the ultimate commitment she seeks. This woman is so good at understanding him, allowing him to be himself which pretty much means anything goes, to forgiving him and of course falling into bed with him, because he thinks maybe just maybe she could be the one. But she is never the one, something always seems to derail that train just before it gets to the stop. Here is the thing, “a man who is accountable to no one, is a danger to himself” but in the case of a romantic relationship, the danger is to the woman! Since she has not held him accountable, he will drag her through all kinds of dangerous, heartbreaking situations. Periodically talking about how they could build up their relationship only to let it crash again at any given time. He builds it up when he senses she may be at her breaking point, then he lets it collapse when it gets too much for him all the while blaming her with any myriad of reasons for the failure. He thinks her love is unconditional, but not in a good way. She puts no limits on him she thinks, but what she is really doing is she is putting no value on herself and all the wonderful relationship building skills she has! Men walk away from these types of women because men want restrictions and accountability. Boys want freedom. Men know they need to achieve and build and they are looking for a strong woman who can help them do just that.

I know there are many more personalities and I may go over them in a future article, but these are so prevalent these days, I felt I must discuss. So, while we may not be able to pinpoint any specific type of woman that attracts every man, isn’t it great to know which types does not?

Peace & Light

Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/CarollAtkins

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About Caroll Atkins

Loving Designing Living!! All forms of design intrigue me. As a graphic designer, I design for my livelihood (C.A.SlyDesigns) but as a writer, I do it for my living! At this time in my life, I MUST write. LoveDesignLife, is my joy and my gift to you. If my articles resonate with you, I pray they will also help you in life much as living them and writing about them has helped me. Today, it is no longer about thinking outside of the box. It’s bigger!! It is all about “Transcending the sphere!” coined by yours truly. I work hard to accomplish my goals. However, if I ever fall short I don’t worry I just eat cake cause tomorrow is another day!!
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22 Responses to What Type Of Woman Attracts Men…

  1. Chasing Joy says:

    Another great read. I definitely see myself in some of the descriptions. Each experience is a learning experience.

    • I too have been some of these descriptions. I always say, my blog is comprised of personal experience as well as personal observations. When we know better, we can do better.

      Peace & Light

  2. Pingback: What Type of Woman Attracts Men Pt. 2 « LoveDesignLife

  3. I think your blog is AWESOME and so I’ve nominated you for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award .. check it out 🙂 http://offriesandmen.com/2013/01/28/very-inspiring-blogger-award/

  4. Very great and interesting piece — truth in every word!!

  5. Anonymous says:

    You nailed it! a writer who says it like it is reads the soul from pens and not just the eyes. This is a window statement to some but if you ask me, Mrs Atkins just open a wide door to a heart and time of reason…

  6. DjRelat7 says:

    I think when you are actually in the situation, these scenarios are irrelevant, one of the many side effects of “being in love”. The woman involved will ALWAYS feel she is the exception.

  7. kweathersby says:

    Great post!! This gives us a reflection of how women sometimes behave to attract attention versus how we should behave. I must read this again and send it to a friend.

  8. Jasmine says:

    I see these situations all the time in therapy! All the time! It can be so hard to help women navigate these instances.

  9. Brandi says:

    This is powerful. I think many women can see pieces of themselves in each of these descriptions. Knowing is half the battle…right?

    • That’s exactly right Brandi. There have been times in my life where I have had played out some elements of this behavior, not even realizing how truly unproductive it was. I am such a romantic who believes the best about everyone, that I did not realize in a romantic relationship, there are rules whether you want to admit them or not. This is not a condemnation of women but a PSA of sorts. When we know better, we do better and I say we because I am you and you are me in both the positive and the negative.

      Thanks for your feedback, and yes knowing is definitely half the battle.

      Peace & Light

  10. Yasyp says:

    Nothing but the truth!

  11. jolynproject says:

    Amen sista. Amen. lol

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