…you ask? All types. But in this article I am going to talk about the types of women we portray THINKING that it will attract and keep a man.
Many girls as they come into woman hood, start to give thought as to what type of woman they want to be. More specifically, they want to know how to conduct themselves as a woman in love relationships. They want to make sure they are setting the ground rules as to how they want a man to treat them, or for that matter, how they will not allow a man to treat them. Early on, we tend to be pretty confident in what we want in a man albeit it may not grounded all the way in future reality, as we have yet to totally understand who we are and what our needs are as opposed to our wants. But I digress…what I really want to talk about is what kind of women we become in our pursuit to finding that ‘right” man.
To that end, I have identified some personality types that we become in order to get the love we want and deserve.
Clean Up Woman
This woman is always there to help him with everything from losing his job, to helping him pay bills even child support, to allowing him to live with her responsibility free while he “gets his act together”. Some are available as he is coming out of another relationship and of course he is so bereft from this situation that he needs a good “friend”. Closely resembling the mother figure type, the only difference is these women are also having sex with these guys as they now feel invested in these men and believe that a relationship can be built. Of course the men are taking advantage of these women in every way they can. You see, if a man is willing to take you up on this type of very personal help, when he is not your significant other, trust me he will have no qualms about having sex with you as well. The worst part is, these men typically leave these women when they get stronger, for women who have a higher standard. The one thing all men want and find interesting and attractive in a woman is self-worth and strength of character.
Link A Buddy Woman
This woman has a high sex drive and just cannot be without a lover or more specifically, she cannot do without sex. However, she does not want to be entertaining many different men, so she latches on to that player type man who makes sex quite available. After some time, she commences to believe in her mind that they have a relationship, simply because he keeps coming back to her for sex. Typically she is very good sexually and that is one of the main reasons the men keep coming back and, she is available. As soon as that relationship looks like it is about to fizzle out, she is already on the hunt for the next man who can fill the impending vacancy. This woman just does not believe that she can have a real relationship either because she does not feel worthy or she thinks that no man is capable of being a partnership material type guy. Men accommodate this woman because she asks for little to nothing from him. He has free reign and no accountability. They call her a “friend with benefits”.
A man who is accountable to no one, is a danger to himself. ~Iyanla Vanzant
I Love You But…Woman
You guessed it, men are always saying that to her. It appears that she can be loved, but not firmly committed to. Men come into her life, use her up for all her kindness and sweetness, but will not give her the ultimate commitment she seeks. This woman is so good at understanding him, allowing him to be himself which pretty much means anything goes, to forgiving him and of course falling into bed with him, because he thinks maybe just maybe she could be the one. But she is never the one, something always seems to derail that train just before it gets to the stop. Here is the thing, “a man who is accountable to no one, is a danger to himself” but in the case of a romantic relationship, the danger is to the woman! Since she has not held him accountable, he will drag her through all kinds of dangerous, heartbreaking situations. Periodically talking about how they could build up their relationship only to let it crash again at any given time. He builds it up when he senses she may be at her breaking point, then he lets it collapse when it gets too much for him all the while blaming her with any myriad of reasons for the failure. He thinks her love is unconditional, but not in a good way. She puts no limits on him she thinks, but what she is really doing is she is putting no value on herself and all the wonderful relationship building skills she has! Men walk away from these types of women because men want restrictions and accountability. Boys want freedom. Men know they need to achieve and build and they are looking for a strong woman who can help them do just that.
I know there are many more personalities and I may go over them in a future article, but these are so prevalent these days, I felt I must discuss. So, while we may not be able to pinpoint any specific type of woman that attracts every man, isn’t it great to know which types does not?
Peace & Light
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