When you dance to your own rhythm,
Life taps its toes to your beat. ~Terri Guillemets
What do you know for sure about yourself? Do you know who you are? Yes, no, well, maybe? What if I told you that it is perfectly fine to feel all of those answers. You see we have new thoughts, experiences, and we take new chances every day, which results in us going from one self reality to another. This is all perfectly normal, in fact this is great as long as it continues to move you in a positive progression direction. What is not great, is if you don’t know yourself because you don’t want to…and you don’t want to because you don’t accept yourself. You don’t believe who you are, albeit in transition and all, is good enough to be liked, accept and celebrated. So, you are going through life ignoring the you, you are right now, all the while dreaming and saving your appreciation and love for the you you will be in the future. I am here to tell you that you are good enough right now, today, right this minute. If you don’t know that, then you will go through life LOOKING for more and more and more to fill the void that is sure to exist within you right now.
So, if as the saying goes, “to know me is to love me” what can you do if you yourself don’t even know you? How can you possibly expect someone to love you, IF you don’t even know you to love you? This is the first thing you must realize and accept. If you do not love your self, you cannot expect someone to love you. It is that love that we are not giving ourselves or getting, through the lack of self knowledge, that makes us question if we are good enough. To be loved, first by self and then by others is the major contributing factor to accepting our selves at every stage of our lives. We tend to judge ourselves on any given day as a finished product even though we are actively making changes in your lives at that very moment.
It is my belief that we do this because the journey of self is a hard one for some and still, a long one for others. So, we think what if I were to stop this journey right now. Since I am not where I want to be, will others accept me? Will they think me worthy or great even? Yes, they will. You see, your goals are not for others your goals are for you established and driven by your spirit. It is all personal and as such, is not visible for the world to see and judge. Secondly, no one is perfect and no one will ever be perfect. We all are on some journey. Of course there will always be those who feel the need to judge. These people are suffering from many of their own insecurities and unfortunately they are a part of the community that we all encounter. These people aside, most people can understand and share in our need to be the best we can be. Most people are ready to support you on your journey.
What does good enough even mean? At the end of the day, what are you supposed to be good enough for? Looking at the root of this thought process, I can’t help but believe that this is tied to childhood injustices. Whether subtly or egregiously, for the most part you will find a history of this in individuals who believe they are not good enough. When we are faced with situations that we wish to be part of, we immediately start to rate ourselves. We get overwhelmed and look at our possible lack of credentials or experience and conclude that we ourselves as a person is lacking. In a healthy childhood, our parents or caregivers told us that we are beautiful, loved and perfect just the way we are. This is drilled into our heads till it becomes our background supporting script. We learn that accomplishments in education, etc. gives us a fighting edge in society, but it doesn’t define us as a person. In dysfunctional situations, those children unfortunately learn the opposite. Whether it is a parent passing on the negativity that was done to them to their children, or one who is ill-equipped to handle stress and pressure or one who simply is unenlightened, uneducated and abusive, that child bears the brunt of their parent’s misguided aggression and it becomes ingrained into them that they themselves are not good. This is carried on through to adulthood, and even though some may emerge and become successful and quite capable of functioning in society, they can still be very much affected by this in many other elements of life.
Break free today! Understand that life is really and truly a journey in which the more you discover about the world and its people the more you will unlock the treasures you have within you. If you have yet to discover your purpose in life, know that you will do so as long as you keep on experiencing situations. The more you discover the more you will see that perfection is not what is needed in life, neither is being “good enough” what we need to be. We need to find our purpose and we do that through pursuing our various passions. You see, it’s not about being good enough, it’s realizing that good enough is simply that, at every phase of life we made it there because we are already good enough!
Peace & Light
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