One ought to hold on to one’s heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes, I sit staring outside my window and think. I think about random things that were said to me by people that have crossed a path in my life. I’m a thinker, that’s what I do, that’s who I am. I am always thinking about something, hence the fact that I love my own company. I can happily stay reclusive for days and resurge stronger and better than ever. Anyway, back to my thinking. With my thoughts inevitably come my feelings. When I was younger, my feelings would consume me. I found it very hard to move forward, because I would be mired in them. Today, I have conquered this and it is now my secret weapon. A tool that cuts through the mire and reveals the sweet, blossoming flowers of wisdom and knowledge.
As much as I welcome my feelings, many, right at this very moment, are trying to escape theirs. They are convinced that feelings are the cause of their struggles and unhappiness and guess what they are right! You see, having feelings that are not properly processed is not healthy, BUT suppressing feelings are worse. Ok, so we know that feelings and emotions gone awry can be very detrimental to our well being. There are countless examples of that, but what I see trying to make a strong case is people and even therapists who believe that suppressing your emotions is the way to handle life. Essentially, it seems more and more that the world is in favor of sensitivity-free people. People who lock out feelings so efficiently, that they are now desensitized, unplugged and automatic.
What’s wrong with that you say? I mean, if we take our feelings and emotions out of things, so much would get done and the likelihood of people getting their feelings hurt would be almost nonexistent. That’s got to be a good thing right? Well, maybe not so right. When you learn to systematically negate your feelings and suppress your emotions, you will find that you are now encouraging the closing of your heart. Sure, you would be able to keep out negativity, and yes, that would certainly keep stress at bay. However, think about this, it would also keep joy at bay and happiness would begin to wither. Here’s the thing, the by-product of restricting emotions, is the promotion of closing your heart. So, whatever love, joy, happiness you have in there is all that will ever be in there. You need feelings and emotions to replenish that, add to that and increase that. To feel joy, a measure of sadness must have happened. Most of all, and I have said this many, many times before, human beings must grow, and limiting feelings is restricting growth. Passion and compassion would die and you would no longer live from spirit causing you to disconnect with your soul.
Do I have your attention yet? Well, let me make this a little more real. When you are suppressing your feelings and emotions, you are not eliminating them. Oh, you still have them. Just because you are able to stop them from occupying your thought process for extended periods of time, does not mean they never existed in the first place. And, if they do exist and you push them down, is it not expected that they will at some point resurface? In the meantime, till they resurface, what effect could they be having on you? What subconscious turmoil could they be effecting? Our subconscious is a powerful tool. It is the reason for our first actions and it holds information we think we have long forgotten. Having said that, I believe the effects of suppressed emotions can cause you to subconsciously attract drama into your life. The turmoil brewing out of consciousness’ reach, needs to be satiated. Since these emotions are largely negative, hurt or toxic, it will attract that type of situation. You may find yourself getting embroiled in crazy situation or even worse starting them. You may even say to yourself, why do these things keep happening to me. That turmoil within you, want and need attention and unless properly dealt with, it will find an outlet and show its self.
If this rings familiar, is it not another good reason to deal with and process emotions? To besides, just as there are emotions that are uncomfortable, there are those that are joyful and help promote happiness. The primary function of emotions is to show us just what we are made of. It helps us find our selves. It teaches us compassion and confidence. It reveals your true desires, what is really near and dear to you. It shows you your loves, and I am sure you can agree you cannot suppress, camouflage or ignore love with any amount of success or longevity. So, even though in the short term, you feel like suppressing your emotions is working, as time goes on that feeling will definitely wane. As I said before, suppression of emotions stop growth. No growth means we start to loose connection to our spirit. Our passion dies! We no longer enjoy things we used to enjoy. We start feeling like what is the purpose of life. This is where that saying “same ol’ same ol” comes in. We are effectively disconnecting from our inner source of happiness. Now we start to seek happiness from outside of us. We find ourselves doing things that are ill advised. We become worldly, wanting things the world says will make us happy, superficial and material. Quick fixes become a go to thing. Here you find your most impulsive types and huge risk takers. Some can become adrenaline junkies, doing things that give immediate jolts of feelings to try and spark life into them. All because they are emotionally detached, but they still MUST feel.
Allow yourself to feel and learn how to release the sometimes stress. Meditation is a great way to help eliminate stress. Moments of prayer is also good. Taking time out to connect with nature is an amazing way to help with this. Swimming has been found to have amazing rejuvenating powers. Do not try to hide from emotions, instead feel them and release the stress that some of it may cause by immersing yourself into nature. Grow plants, get a goldfish. Anything that is of nature is an excellent way to help release the stress. Emotions are not the enemy, it is the stress that it can cause that scares us. In the end remember, the emotion that can break your heart, is the very one that may save it!