You can have anything you want, if you will give up the belief that you can’t have it.
but most of the time it is gray! So what do you do when you are resigned to live your life rigidly conforming only to your own personal ideals? We all have ideals, but do you believe your ideals are so perfect, so sound, right and wholesome, that they should be the blueprint for everyone else’s life? In other words, if others do not conform to your ideal, does this present problems for you in your relationships? Many of us do feel that way, sometimes in minor, inconsequential ways, but for some of us this is how all aspects of our life is run. Relationships, friendships, business, etc. If others do not conform, well then they are excluded from your life. The trouble is this can get to be pretty regular leaving you with resentment and bitterness not to mention bewilderment as to why it is just so hard to have good friends and loves in your life.
The trouble is you live in your own introverted world, maybe because in there you hold ultimate control. Here you may play the hero or heroine in your own personal mythology. In this world, your ideals are always perfect, slaying any problems, saving the less fortunate and being the ultimate lover while everyone is eternally grateful and offer no resistance, but undying devotion and adoration. And isn’t that how it should be, after all you are only trying to show others that you want them to be happy and if they do it your way they will be happy.
Consider this thought, is this thought process adopted to cover up something else? Could it be your self-esteem? Is this the way you choose to avoid facing your own self and the fact you feel you may not add up? Such individuals may hold themselves above others reproach insisting that their behavior is not harming anyone. They are who they are, and if you love them you will accept it as no one is perfect. They vehemently resent any suggestion you may offer that they make adjustments of their views or employ some limitations on behavior. Yet they become quite upset if they observe people they care about doing things that does not involve them. They say they don’t care, but the fact is they find a sense of self-esteem by being important to others and if not noticed they are genuinely hurt.
Here’s the thing, these individuals really are special and they are very much hero and heroine material, because the reason for their behavior is they have an enormous amount of love that they must share and they truly do want others to be happy. They are extreme romantics whose objectivity is skewered because everything is an extension of themselves. They do not realize that things happen not because God or people like or don’t like them, but because of their own effort, beliefs and views. They fail to see that they are the master of their destiny and not some unseen force that doesn’t like them and plots against their happiness. They are simply terrified of being unloved, unappreciated or being considered run of the mill. They want to shine like the hero does in the fairytale. What they have to realize is that other people are different as they should be and there is a need for all kinds of people in this world. Even they need a person who is different from them. They need that difference to help them make connections to things, people and situations that is vital to furthering their career, love and most importantly to helping them figure out the topic they least want to discuss, but most want to understand, themselves. If given half the chance they will see that the happiness that they so desperately crave lies in our differences, availability of choices, chance taking and traveling a path that is NOT of their calculated, preconceived notion. Looking beyond their own consciousness is important, because it can be the key to facing reality and living in the now, not in the future where they envision themselves in perfect relationships and everything is revolving around them, and it is all perfect! Life in the gray is not dull. Living life always in the white is bright and shinning, but who can stand bright and shinning all the time. Our eyes would burn out. Also, life in the black is all consuming and unrelenting causing much despair. When you look at it that way you soon see that living some life in the gray is truly having the best of both worlds!!