“Love would never leave us alone” ~Bob Marley
Curious question right? You would think that when love is available to be had, we would all stand up and say “yes please, I’ll take some of that, thank you very much.” And why not, love is a beautiful thing right? Well, till it’s up to you to give it. You see, some of us do have moods when it comes to love, mood swings to be exact! Simply put, does your love depend on your mood swings? For many of us, yes it absolutely does.
So what does it really mean to have mood swings in love? Well, we have heard it said many times, that we must learn to love ourselves first and foremost before we can love someone else. This, when you think about it, makes perfect sense. Loving oneself creates authenticity in that we know know how love it supposed to feel first hand. We also know how to give love first hand, because we give love to ourselves in a pure, honest way. So, we can now see real love and give real love. However, if you are not truly loving yourself, I mean accepting yourself and all your nuances, your quirks, your perceived flaws, all of it, then you are not in a place to give true love. No self love makes you vulnerable to others view of you. If you can’t find the love you need within you, you will look for it outside of you. As I have said before, we NEED love. We are created for love and to love. So, as you might imagine if you are looking for love outside of yourself to fill you up inside, when others are not validating you the way you feel you should be validated it will make you unhappy, moody, not feeling loved and hence unable to give love. The more unlovable aspects you see in yourself, the more you are sure others see it too, and you are convinced it will make you unlovable. No love on the inside means no love can go out to others. It also means you will more than likely turn that around and start judging people on what YOU believe makes them lovable and worth your love. Hence the reason I say that unless you truly love yourself, you will be a mood swing lover.
Someone who loves based on their moods is not loving at all. They cannot love because they are not whole within. Their heart is missing something, that unconditional self love. The self love they give themselves will fill up the emptiness they feel in their heart. Once they feel fulfilled by the love they give themselves, they will feel free to give love, at anytime and to anyone, because they themselves do not feel they are lacking. AND, the best part is they will now be able to accept love into their life. They will also be better equipped to accept love that nurtures and whether that person stays around and builds the relationship or leaves, it will not cause a mood swinging, spiraling shift in their lives. They will assuredly know that they are still just as lovable and deserving as before this person came along.
Don’t limit love! The more you give the more you will receive. But if you don’t love yourself, I mean truly love yourself, not some ego driven praise of yourself that is empty and only full of false bravado, but love that comes from acceptance and self-worth, you will be in no position to give love. You cannot give what you don’t have or don’t understand, know or accept. What you don’t have an intimate knowledge of is hard to truly promote. Love is one of those things that you must have intimate knowledge of to be able to give to others. Believe in love and its transformational power. If you don’t stand up for love, you will fall down at anything!!!