Mirror, mirror on the wall…

…some I love some not at all!

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, tell me, mirror, what is wrong? ~De La Soul

Can you all feel me?  Why is it that we just cannot warm up to or even like some people.  These people could be close relatives, friends or maybe just a public figure of some sort.  In any case, something about them has left us totally cold.  For some of us the feelings can be so intense to the point we actually hate them. While most of us are not in the hate zone, quite a few of us have definite strong dislikes.  When asked why, we can have a litany list of reasons or maybe just one reason that we term as huge, something we just can’t get with.

Contemplate this, that which we resist the most in others, that which we dislike the strongest in others exists within us to the same degreeIn other words, those you love and those you hate are MIRRORS of yourself!  Oh, we have no problem with the love part, but the hate part, well that is another story.  For us to identify with something so much so, that it produces an emotion means that thing is something we are intimately familiar with.  In the case of hate or dislike, not only are we intimately familiar with the thing we are battling it ourselves.  I propose that our battle with it to keep it in check or simply to not let it even rear its head is so exhaustive, that when we see someone exhibiting those same behaviors that rebuff us within our selves it upsets us.  Now if that person seemingly gets away with that behavior, if people seem to accept that behavior from them or worst yet if that behavior actually gets them celebrated, oh we are mad and angry and yes, the more their behavior continues and is flaunted the more our emotions build negatively and soon enough we are in full blown hate.

All is not lost though.  Hate is a useless emotional response for the simple fact that it stifles personal creativity and limits positive inter personal expression, all which is critical to building healthy relationships.  But the biggest negative is it feeds the ego incessantly.  When you are caught up in this situation all you want to do is justify why you feel the way you do.  You find it hard to celebrate any positives about that person.  You stay stuck on that aspect of their personality and as time goes on it becomes all you can see about them and the first thing you say when their name is mentioned.  Consider this, next time you feel this dislike, think about it and how it relates to something about you that you dislike. Here is an example, “Portia talks so much, she never shuts up.  She has something to say about everything.”  The fact that Portia is in your opinion a chatterbox is something that may ONLY be YOUR hated pet peeve.  Moreover, maybe you wish you could be free to talk on every and all subjects as Portia does.  Maybe you believe that talking that much is impolite, because that is what your belief says.  So if Portia continues to do that, how dare she go against YOUR beliefs (ego in play here).  BUT, why is this a belief?  Can you give your self permission to change that belief or at the very least adjust it?  Maybe you can try being more vocal about things yourself.  If you do this, you will have effectively dis-empowered your mirrored self, an the imaginary limits and power restraint you put on yourself will disappear causing you to feel freer.  Once you feel like YOU are not being restrained and you can speak on any subject you want and others will listen too, you will not act so negatively to the person who is the object of your dislike.  You see, you are the only one limiting yourself because of your beliefs.  Its all self-imposed because of past experience or personal prejudices.  If someone else told you to do this, you would question the validity and only act if it proved sound to you, yet when you do it to yourself you don’t question you adopt it full-heartedly.  Shatter the mirror and break through to the other side because the only bad luck you will ever have is the one that keeps you locked in a one dimensional view of YOU!


About Caroll Atkins

Loving Designing Living!! All forms of design intrigue me. As a graphic designer, I design for my livelihood (C.A.SlyDesigns) but as a writer, I do it for my living! At this time in my life, I MUST write. LoveDesignLife, is my joy and my gift to you. If my articles resonate with you, I pray they will also help you in life much as living them and writing about them has helped me. Today, it is no longer about thinking outside of the box. It’s bigger!! It is all about “Transcending the sphere!” coined by yours truly. I work hard to accomplish my goals. However, if I ever fall short I don’t worry I just eat cake cause tomorrow is another day!!
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4 Responses to Mirror, mirror on the wall…

  1. Excellent Caroll,. I recall in my younger years being this type of person and the way I turned it around was exactly how you described doing so,. I began to reach down inside myself to acknowledge others for the good things they did rather than sit back and “Hate” them for being who they were,. I immediately began to feel such an overwhelming warmth through my soul,. that was nearly 20 years ago,. and I’ve been doing so every since,..
    Very Good Post!,.

    • It really is the only way Eric. I am glad you have supported this. I experienced some not so nice things growing up. It gave me nightmares as an adult. I hated the people because of it. Taking this approach literally saved my life. I lived in a black or white world. I am so happy I don’t hold myself that type of hostage anymore.

      Peace & Light!

  2. Great post!! I really like your blog. Do you read a lot? The new Earth, Eckhart Tolle I would totally recommend for you, if you haven’t read it already 🙂

    • Thank you 🙂 Yes I read a lot and yes I have read that book. It totally changed my life for the better.

      I am really loving your blog as well. I plan on reading as many entries as possible. I think we may be on the same wavelength 🙂 I love your point of view. Thanks for following, I have already returned the favor 😀

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