Many of us have hear this saying, however as you have probably come to expect from me, the original meaning is not what I am referring to. For most of us our lives are lived in a state of no win dichotomy. We sit directly in the middle of two thieves, not knowing which way to go. Either way we loose. Who are the two thieves you ask? Regret for the past AND fear of the future.
“As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you – the first time around.” ~Oprah Winfrey
If you are living in this hostage state, life may seem futile at times. Then again, maybe you don’t even realize this is how you are living because you have been doing it for so long. It actually may feel like a comfort zone to you, a strangely irrational safe place. Here is my non-scientific check test to see if this is your state of being. If you have a running list of events that did not go how you wanted or expected them to go and you recall this list with ease whenever someone asks you what happened or what went wrong, whether you say the word or not, you are feeling regret. I know some may want to disagree, as they may look at it as a simple explanation that they are offering, BUT when you have learned that events past are meant for your growth and enlightenment, you embrace the lesson and the inconvenience, hurt or pain fades away as you replace it with enthusiasm and hope for the future. Ah, but here we are, at the future where a lot of those with regret cannot seem to muster up enough courage to grasp on to it’s shiny promise. In fact, to them it seems more like a chasm, a deep abyss filled with more negative experiences just waiting to befall you. You remain between this divide paralyzed, uninspired and if you are not yet depressed, you may very well be borderline.
“Disappointment is the gift of metering expectations.” ~Catkins 2012
Break free! Take some time to yourself to look at past events and challenge yourself to see the benefit it added to your life, the inevitable lesson you could learn and should learn. I promise you it is there. Every single event has a dual view. Once you have done so, banish this memory and move on, ready to replace it with the lesson and not the unpleasant outcome. Become a person who looks for the positive, life-affirming view. It is just as easy to switch your mindset to a positive one from a negative one. Fear is having apprehension for event yet unknown. If you can reserve this emotion for events yet unknown, can you not reserve hope for events yet unknown? Realize in life disappointment is the gift of metering expectations. Nothing is guaranteed, everything in life is connected, so it would stand to reason that anything can change at any given time. If you have not set up an expectation, then pleasant outcomes become what they are meant to be, unexpected gifts and unpleasant ones become what they are meant to be lessons or at times full out warnings. Christmas may have just passed, but smile you are about to give your self the best gift ever, the gift of a brighter future.