To lose is to gain!!!

Have you ever stopped to think that throughout our lives we experience life events as either losses or gains?  We have major gains, ex. marriage, birth, coveted purchases etc. are all pretty desirable gains.  However, natural disasters, violence, death, etc. are all devastating losses.  We feel pretty comfortable in putting these events in these categories so as to simplify our life as much as possible.

A recent death of a close cousin started me to thinking.  Her loss is devastating to me, yet in a strange way I am gaining so much from it.  It started me thinking of every event I am not going to share with her within her presence, which brought me to events I did share with her and events I shared because of her.  The fact that she had a life gave so much to mine.  Now that she is gone, those gifts her life gave are still there, they are not gone as a matter of fact I am finding more!  I want to hold on to the immediateness of not having her physical presence because it satiates my need, my ego, but when I divert my attention from my need and to her life I smile and immediately remember her values and formidable personality. Then I am inspired to share it with others.

Losses are not losses, but incredibly complex transitional experiences.  As long as we cherish the memories, share the love and pass on the lessons we give fullness to life and meaning to lives especially our own.

So what of other minor losses we have in our lives?  Can we project a new view onto them?  I now believe we can.  I actually believe they are not losses at all.  They are transitions.  Swinging of the pendulum, balances if you will.  You see once we experience the transition it brings us to the gain.  For example, as mothers we love our babies and long to hold on to their babyhood, yet as they transition to a toddler we are thrilled with that as well.  We never stop being thrilled with their every progression in life even though we remember longingly of each previous stage.  Also, each previous stage somehow makes us more appreciative of the new stage.  We celebrate it.  In a way, when you think about it, we never really owned the stage, we owned the experience.  So we cannot loose it.  As the experience passes through our lives, it gives us more of US.  As it does so for us, we are doing the same for others.  Losses are not losses but incredibly complex transitional experiences.  As long as we cherish the memories, share the love and pass on the lessons we give fullness to life and meaning to lives especially our own.

Our lives are filled with joys and challenges, sometimes disaster and sometimes loss and all the while it is flexible helping us to go on and achieve more and live more and hopefully give more.  All we have is ourselves, but if we give of ourselves it is the most generous gift we could ever give!

RIP Cuz Wendy, forever love!


About Caroll Atkins

Loving Designing Living!! All forms of design intrigue me. As a graphic designer, I design for my livelihood (C.A.SlyDesigns) but as a writer, I do it for my living! At this time in my life, I MUST write. LoveDesignLife, is my joy and my gift to you. If my articles resonate with you, I pray they will also help you in life much as living them and writing about them has helped me. Today, it is no longer about thinking outside of the box. It’s bigger!! It is all about “Transcending the sphere!” coined by yours truly. I work hard to accomplish my goals. However, if I ever fall short I don’t worry I just eat cake cause tomorrow is another day!!
This entry was posted in Enlightenment, Love, Relationships, Spirituality and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to To lose is to gain!!!

  1. Chasing Joy says:

    Thanks for linking up for #FlashbackFriday!

  2. Chasing Joy says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. I am glad you are able to get something very positive out ot it.

  3. What a beautiful post and a tribute to your cousin as well. I just learned of an aunt today who just turned 90 a few weeks ago and is not doing well. It’s amazing how one can be fine one day and then a dramatic change the next. It teaches us to live more each and every day. i like how you refer to it all as transitions.What a great way of experience that. Thoughts are with you and your family.

    • Thank you so much Lisa for your comment. October was a year since her passing. We miss her very much especially since it is so close to the holidays and times we shared with her. You are right about how fragile life, and health can be. We MUST look at the minute by minute value of each day and treasure it and/or use it to help someone else see their treasure. I pray your aunt makes a speedy recovery and you are able to make more memories, but 90 years is a blessing these days. I leave you with positive thoughts for you and yours.

      Peace & Light

  4. Doris Lamontagne says:

    Carroll: You hit the nail on the head. I have been thinking of you and keeping the family in my prayers. The word “loss” can make one feel sad . You must lose in order to gain, once the initial shocking feeling wears off.

  5. So true,. so true,. So many people find it very difficult to understand this concept of “to lose is to Gain” or “Less is actually More”,. because they spend their entire life tying to satisfy their never ending desires,.. which continues to hunger for more and more, convincing themselves that they need to acquire more things. Remaining attached to these things that will eventually grow old and wither away will only lead to suffering at some point and then they’ll be on the quest again to replace that which is now gone, only to repeat the cycle of rebirthing this cycle of suffering,… Losing these things and letting them remain gone will increase our sense of freedom of it’s grip of our desires for them,. gaining much enlightenment.

    Caroll,. I totally sympathize and empathize with you as you are handling the passing of your cousin,. When I lost my Mother two years ago,. I was devastated with her passing, for it was the largest and most devastating piece of tragedy that I had ever encountered to date. Without even realizing of what I was doing,. I began to tell everyone about how she was and the things she had taught me as I was growing up and even the disagreements that we had had,. In short I continued to keep my mother alive within me,.. It became therapeutic to me to continue talking about her more often as much as I could, as I continued taking her everywhere I went and I still do so and to this day,.. The lost of my mother opened my eyes to all of the spiritual and inward things that she was really about that I wasn’t looking at when she was alive because I focused so much on her physical presence and the things that she was audibly saying,.. I miss my Mother,. but she is alive within me especially during the times that I share with my children and pass life’s lessons on to them.

    Very Good Piece!

  6. Caribkid says:

    Beautiful words and oh so true. We never, ever lose what is gained. It stays with us forever.

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