People of the world are hurting! Emotions are raw and out of control. We want peace. We want piece of mind. We want to forgive. We want to be forgiven. Simply put we want to rid our lives of toxic energy so we can live again. Live like young children playing in a stream on a warm summer’s day, excitedly looking forward to the great foods that await them when they have become exhausted of play. Oh, what wouldn’t we give for that lightness of spirit! So, can we ever get there again now that we are grown adults with baggage? Can we erase the past and start over? Or better yet, can we forgive and forget!!!
Forgiving and forgetting to me are two things that do not follow each other in the immediate succession most people believe they should. Forgiving is one thing. A huge thing. For most, it is something that must be practiced and even ritualized before we can actually achieve it. I will explain this a little more in a minute. Forgetting happens as a byproduct of the aforementioned process. We have to work towards these states of being. It is NOT a matter of just saying it and it is done.
Why is forgiving so hard? Forgiving is so hard because to hold on to toxic emotions is so self-serving to the bruised ego. An ego that says how dare someone treat you that way. Or, how can you allow yourself to be ignored and cast aside after you have given so much. How can your kindness be so abused? How can you be so abused and the biggest of all, they must not know WHO I AM!!! Now I freely admit that this is singly my most challenging of situations. I just could not understand how one could give of themselves so honestly and truly and have someone else treat it as an everyday occurrence like everyone is willing to do that for them. Ahhh, do you see my first step to sure heartbreak? I believe what I have to offer is superior. Whoever gets it should absolutely feel special and appreciative. How could one be so stupid as to abuse this precious rare gift? Now don’t get me wrong, what I give is a gift to be sure, as it is with all of you, but my mistake is to expect that everyone is in the market for my gift and moreover, everyone realizes and is on the level that they are aware they are being blessed and want that blessing, therefore appreciating and valuing it. To use a clear analogy, it’s much like giving ice to Eskimos, ice would be far more appreciated if it was given to sub-Saharan nomadic tribes. People only perceive value for that which they need, want, aspire to have, deem scarce and elusive OR understand and identify.
So, we must take responsibility for whom we share our precious. Now what if we have done that. What if the person you have given your trust to is one who begged for it? What now? Well the same thing applies, however some of us do falter and because of love and a desire to “do the right thing”, we get involved. Regrettably we still may be burned. Know this, there is nothing wrong with feeling anger at this. Anger is a much needed defense emotion so we can immediately distance our self from the offending person or situation. However it is an immediate response that must be processed through just as fast. We should immediately take responsibility, feel it through and by all means put it into context. Become very clear what the emotion is that we are feeling. Is it anger, embarrassment, sadness or fear. Where we go wrong is we harbor the anger without a clear understanding of what we really are feeling till it festers into hostility. The hostility is our one size fits cure that never works and just leaves us confused and then we are even more angry. Have you ever been so angry and you kept it going till after a while you didn’t even quite know exactly why you were angry? Maybe that anger was really fear and after a while the fear subsided and you are still left with the anger because you never defined it. So you are holding on to something that you don’t even quite know what.
“to keep my peace and lightness of being, I will not punish myself with bad feelings and toxic emotions, because you did something thoughtless and unkind, and are to prideful, ignorant, selfish or unenlightened to understand its consequences.”
To help you work through towards your forgiveness, write it down, look at it in various positions. Analyze it, tell a loved one or even more perspective even tell the person who wronged us if you must. These rituals will help you gain clarity as to exactly what it is you are feeling which will put you on a path to forgiveness. With constant practice of this ritual, we will develop that forgiving nature we all secretly wish we had but are just too scared to explore. Finally know this without a shadow of a doubt, forgiveness by no means suggest that what they have done is ok. Forgiveness is simply a way for you to remove ownership of the offending situation and the ill feelings and toxic emotions from your spirit. It simply says, “to keep my peace and lightness of being, I will not punish myself with bad feelings and toxic emotions, because you did something thoughtless and unkind, and are to prideful, ignorant, selfish or unenlightened to understand its consequences.”
Ultimately, forgiving another is forgiving oneself and removing the false identity we put up to remedy the event. Forgiveness brings us freedom. Forgiveness brings us evolution. Forgiveness brings us a higher consciousness. Forgiveness frees our soul!