Where is the love you said was mine all mine…


Today more than ever, a loving relationship with a significant other eludes us.  Yet at the same time, we have more freedom to choose what kind of person we want to be with and to love.  So, why are we striking out.  Are we just not loveable?  Some popular theories say so, and in some cases I will admit we have so much pent up unresolved emotions that we are just not available to be loved.  But, I don’t think that is the only reason.  For some of us, we are actually pretty level headed.  So why do they still not have a relationship?  I have some thoughts and the biggest of them being these people are afraid.  Not afraid of a relationship, but afraid of either not being worthy of a relationship or actually finding one.  Fear is as we all know irrational, however for those in its grip it seems oh so real.  So, when in fear mode you have two kinds of people, those who will pick the seemingly most available person for fear of being alone, but note this, when that relationship does not work which it usually doesn’t, they will do it again and again, putting themselves on this perpetual roller coaster.  The other fear victim are those will not entertain any prospects for fear that it won’t work anyway.  This kind of fear victim can usually compound their issue by becoming Cinderella waiting for that perfect prince living in fantasy land.  They wholeheartedly believe that a perfect type guy will come along and make it easy for them to now release their fear and fall in love knowing that they now have their true soul mate.  So they toil away in their lives denying themselves some very real chances to BUILD a loving caring relationship.

To manifest love and grow love you must start with love.  An orange tree does not grow from a cherry seed.

The good news is this behavior can be stopped.  If you realize that somehow these ideas were planted in our psyche early on, we can make a conscious decision to release it and no longer have ownership of it.  Think of it this way, these behaviors do not have love at their root.  To manifest love and grow love you must start with love.  An orange tree does not grow from a cherry seed.  That voice talking in your head causing you fear is not a solid, loving, confident voice, it is a voice created from all kinds of negative messages.  You are too fat, too thin, not smart enough, not rich enough, not tall enough, and so and and so forth.  Even though some of us are able to function and have high achieving lives, when it comes to a loving relationship, because of its highly personal nature, one that asks us to bare much of our soul, we fall short.  Rejection of self is one of the hardest things to face.  Most of us crave outside approval.  If someone would just love us as we are, it would free our souls to become a happy, loving, joyous individual ready to tackle everything in life.  Basically we have total and complete hope faith even that this bountiful love will remove any barricades in our lives that prevent love.  In the meantime, we continue with our negative thoughts and behaviors such as not being trusting, not sharing true intimacy, not asking for what we really need, pretending to be someone we are not believing that we will see the real deal when they get here and they will free us of the need to continue this behavior and poof we can now become our true loving selves. Remember what I said earlier, love begets love and this starts with love of self! Romance yourself, be kind to yourself, love yourself and potential suitors will flock to you. But mostly you will feel safe and secure knowing that the decision you make for your mate will not be one of fear and fantasy, but reality and nothing is more grounded, solid or true.



About Caroll Atkins

Loving Designing Living!! All forms of design intrigue me. As a graphic designer, I design for my livelihood (C.A.SlyDesigns) but as a writer, I do it for my living! At this time in my life, I MUST write. LoveDesignLife, is my joy and my gift to you. If my articles resonate with you, I pray they will also help you in life much as living them and writing about them has helped me. Today, it is no longer about thinking outside of the box. It’s bigger!! It is all about “Transcending the sphere!” coined by yours truly. I work hard to accomplish my goals. However, if I ever fall short I don’t worry I just eat cake cause tomorrow is another day!!
This entry was posted in Love, Relationships, Self-Love and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Where is the love you said was mine all mine…

  1. Peter, that is lovely! It definitely is not easy even though when we are quite young we think it is. But it is very rewarding when you have a good match, and you are right it does make you feel luckier than most cause you appreciate the blessing.

    Thanks much for your comment 🙂

  2. Peter Moore says:

    I got that special love. But it took seven-and-a-half years of a bad first marriage to get there. Still, I feel luckier than most!

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