My past two blog entries have probably left you feeling like you are more in tuned with yourself, but try as you might negative thoughts still are lurking. I know you are trying your best to replace your counter productive thoughts with positive thinking and that is great! However, realize this, the goal is not to become a robot like being who can just switch off this thought and replace it with that thought. Also, you may suppress those thoughts but sooner or later you will find that that is a lesson in futility as they can pop up and at the most inopportune time.
Even though self-control is generally a good thing, doing so constantly when it comes to your thoughts and feelings in a way is actually not promoting your authentic self (Journey of Authenticity) and sooner or later this will become very stressful creating more negative feelings. This time the negative feelings will be how you are not able to leave your disturbing thoughts behind. Not good. Consider this, give your self some sympathy. Realize that you are human and you are not living a scripted life with different personalities and different acts. Let yourself know it is ok that you are feeling bad about certain things that have happened to you and how it has caused you to feel negative. Chanel those thoughts not towards guilt but towards a deeper understanding of yourself. Make it part of your journey pushing you to explore deeper who you are becoming. Then move on. Do not dwell in those feelings. Do not allow it to make you build yet more negative thoughts especially if these are past events that keep coming up. Do not bring them into the present in a manner that makes you believe the event is always reoccurring making the pain anew. I know for a lot of people, when you finally discover the root of why you harbor those feelings, it takes even more time to understand and process that. A domino effect can happen till you finally get the full picture. However you must work towards clarity and understanding. Remember, there is a thin line from having some pity on yourself to having a pity party (Pity Party Parade).
So instead of starting new fights with your undesirable thoughts, let them flow right through you. Acknowledge them and move quickly pass them. Fighting them will not lessen their power in your thoughts. The last thing you should do is start a battle with your thoughts cause you will loose. If you are able to understand this and accept this as what is happening in your life, move to the position in which you give up the game. The game where negative feelings attack, you suppress, you feel guilty, you now have more negative feelings because of your guilt. Vicious cycle right? Give it up, let it go, stop the game!