Pity Party Parade

No, no, no!  I will not do it.  Regardless of how many phrases, movies or books are created to support this agenda, I will not succumb.  There is a parade I will not follow and a movement I will not join.  I will not follow the “pity party” parade nor will I subscribe to the “all men are dogs” movement .  So you must be saying I must have never had my heart broken, or I must be living in la la land and my man hasn’t dogged me out YET!  WRONG!  Oh so wrong!  I have experienced much strife and it has led me from blaming others to coming full circle and placing the camera directly in my own face.  I can now honestly say that the blame game is just that, a game.  One in which you will never pass go and you won’t collect $200, but you will collect a heart that will be broken so many times that it will resemble a crackle painting.  I hate to tell you this, but it won’t be a priceless work of art as a Da Vinci until YOU put the camera in your own face too!  Once you have your own attention, tell yourself “I am now ready to take responsibility for my own behavior.”  You see, the only thing that has become crystal clear in this Journey of Authenticity, is that no one can do to us anything that we do not willingly allow them to do.


So why do we allow it?  What makes us willingly allow pain into our lives?  First you have to agree you are allowing it.  Do you like to play victim?  Is your self-esteem low?  Are you desperately missing love in your life because you were never given nor shown love?  Are you suppressing some childhood pain that is now manifesting itself and causing you to be involved in situations that bring heartache? I strongly believe that all of our heartache stems form early childhood pains.  As our lives unfold, we become more and more cognizant on an unconscious level of unmet needs or confusing behavior perpetrated on us. This plays out in our psyche and more often than not we are not even presently aware of it. We cannot be blamed for this, however at some point we do get a clue and it is this clue when we choose to ignore and continue with business as usual, that will bring us the worst kind of heartache.  You know the heartache from not doing better when you know better.  You may not be able to self-diagnose yourself and say, “yeah that is what I am suffering from”, but I know you continuously say to yourself, “why does this continue to happen to me”.  Heck you will say it to everyone you can and still not say “enough”.  Believe me, women who have a strong knowledge of who they are, do not allow these situations to rule their lives.  They say “enough”!!  You see, you can have had all these negative things happen to you in life, and still be a woman strong of knowledge of self.  It just takes getting real and letting go of blame.  Realizing that nothing, and I do mean nothing, will ever erase the past.  Most of us seem to operate in the present holding the cards of the past.  Would your poker strategy be to hold the same hand you had for the previous game for your current game? The present cares nothing about the past or the future for that matter.  So why should we?  Is it not time to wipe our slate clean and say to ourselves that we have a past, but we want to live today, now, this minute, so we can assure a better tomorrow if at all possible!  If we choose to go on that journey it will lead us to directly tackle the other situation I mentioned and that is the “all men are dogs” movement.


Yes, they really are!  It is how we are viewing men that makes the selection process crucial.  If we are viewing them through our pain and heartache glasses then we are sure, no I am positive we will pick the opposite of an honorable man.  Remember my discussion in Gratitude…Sincerely, about energy?  The more we fight not wanting a joker, the more our energy is directed to it so what comes our way, but you guessed it a joker.  Once you get on a path of self-awareness and start your Journey of Authenticity, you will be in a much, much better place to recognize a good man.  If you keep your mind fixated on what, to you makes a good man and how these men are out there just waiting to make a connection with a strong, confident, peaceable woman, the more you stack your deck in favor of meeting him.  You will MEET each other, meaning you don’t have to go find him nor does he have to come find you.  Think about it.  Isn’t some of the best things you ever got, something you came across?  Don’t you find that when you go looking for something you can never find it?  Or better yet, how about just when you have the money for something and you are ready for it you can never find just what you want.  So if you are the type of person that MUST have something cause you are ready damn it, then proceed to take what is available, are you every really happy with it or do you utter these words, “I wanted such and such but I settled for this”.  Do the internal work and have the patience, please.  Let your growing knowledge of self naturally place you in an environment where you are able to make good, sensible decisions for a mate.  I know you probably expected me to talk about all the unsavory things men do and women allow, but we all know that story.  I am about future progress plus remember it is about positive energy!


About Caroll Atkins

Loving Designing Living!! All forms of design intrigue me. As a graphic designer, I design for my livelihood (C.A.SlyDesigns) but as a writer, I do it for my living! At this time in my life, I MUST write. LoveDesignLife, is my joy and my gift to you. If my articles resonate with you, I pray they will also help you in life much as living them and writing about them has helped me. Today, it is no longer about thinking outside of the box. It’s bigger!! It is all about “Transcending the sphere!” coined by yours truly. I work hard to accomplish my goals. However, if I ever fall short I don’t worry I just eat cake cause tomorrow is another day!!
This entry was posted in Gratitude, Relationships, Self-Love, Self-Respect and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Pity Party Parade

  1. Pingback: It’s all a game…you don’t have to play! « LoveDesignLife

  2. Anonymous says:

    Patience!!!!!!! The key word! Self Love is the ultimate answer…I strongly agree 🙂

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