How to earn a PHD….In Men!


The picture above evokes emotions we can all agree.  To some it is the perfect destination and to others it is way to remote.  To me it is the perfect combination of both and is a perfect representation of who I am.  A fortified entity that beckons one to have a look, but just enough protection that not just anyone can come in.  I perch high up to be ever aware of what is coming.  So, it is from this angle that I have observed and heard some of the craziest things done in defense of why some women stay with a man.  Now, I know I am guilty of some irrational thinking myself when it comes to that, so I feel that since this is a “Journey of Authenticity”, I would be remiss if I did not put them out there.  However in the interest of time and space, I will just talk about the ones I consider to be the absolute madness.  No if, ands, or buts, if you are dealing with these situations really, really think twice and better yet walk away.  I try never to be absolute, but these are so egregious, I can see no other positive solution and that’s saying a lot because for those who know me they know I try to find something positive about every thing.  Also, some of these you may be perpetrating on your own self.  If that is the case, consider yourself enlightened.  So, here goes!

Number one on my list:

  • If you take a man back after he has lied and cheated he WILL loose respect for you.  The more you play this game the more respect he looses and I guarantee you if you lie or cheat he will drop your behind and replace you faster than you can form your lips to say “please, baby please….”
  • If you put your emotionally unstable, low-self esteem having self on the market to find a man you will find one alright and while he feeds into your every insecurity and tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear, he will be getting all he can from you and he will drop you and keep it right on moving, because silly girl, men don’t respect those types of women and they certainly don’t make them their wives.
  • You are keying his car and busting out his windows, girl get a clue.  You will do all this and still stay with him when he comes up with a huge lie or better yet he cries and begs for your forgiveness and tells you how much he loves you.  Then he will say in his sexiest voice, “baby, you gon’ help me fix my car right” and there you go.  Save yourself that drama, if you feel the need to go that far, keep going right out the door cause it’s a wrap and no, there will be no video and you are not going on tour.
  • He is not gonna leave his wife!  He is not gonna leave his wife!  He is NOT gonna leave his wife.  Now have a V-8 and sit down cause you got some serious thinking to do.
  • “I can’t love you like you need me to.  I have trust issues from being hurt.  One day I will be able to commit, don’t give up on me”.  Clap, clap, clap!  And the best actor award goes to…..  Yeah you got it what a performance.  My father didn’t share a whole lot with me when it came to men, but he did say this is a bunch of manure.  It is my fervent belief that most men will only divulge this information when forced to get real in therapy.  If he is spewing this out voluntarily, get out your flip cam cause he is ready for his close up.

As I stated before, I have many more I can add to this list, but these to me are some of the worst.  Remember, it is important that we not take every man at their word.  Not all men wish you the best and is here to make sure you have it.  Ask a question or two, require proof.  I had a guy who took the offensive route and would feed me with just enough info before I even asked a questions so he could keep control of any situation.  Now when I would ask a question, cause Caroll ain’t nobody’s fool plus I have my PHD in MEN, he would get an attitude, act insulted and get all indignant.  Again, best actor award…  Remember men will not respect us if we don’t respect ourselves.  A woman can be average looking, average money, average intelligence, but if she is strong, confident and secure in a down to earth, God loving, peaceful way, that’s who a man will give his utmost respect and when ready ask for her hand in marriage.

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About Caroll Atkins

Loving Designing Living!! All forms of design intrigue me. As a graphic designer, I design for my livelihood (C.A.SlyDesigns) but as a writer, I do it for my living! At this time in my life, I MUST write. LoveDesignLife, is my joy and my gift to you. If my articles resonate with you, I pray they will also help you in life much as living them and writing about them has helped me. Today, it is no longer about thinking outside of the box. It’s bigger!! It is all about “Transcending the sphere!” coined by yours truly. I work hard to accomplish my goals. However, if I ever fall short I don’t worry I just eat cake cause tomorrow is another day!!
This entry was posted in Control, Relationships, Self-Love, Self-Respect and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to How to earn a PHD….In Men!

  1. Caribkid says:

    Sadly, very humorous and yet so true.

    Relationships are based on people sharing similar values and too often we look for love in the wrong places and end up accepting far less than we desire and deserve. Unfortunately we often think that we can “change” people and when they don’t, we are surprised.

    Know what, don’t be surprised.

  2. motmob says:

    This is great! Made me laugh – and it is SO true… I am passing it on to one of my single friends who just had another first date – 🙂

    • Caroll says:

      Absolutely Jennifer! Oh she needs my Rulez For The Grown & Sexy!! I will have to get that to you for her. It can really save her a lot of heartache and wasted time.

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