You all remember that acronym, WYSIWYG, what you see is what you get? I remember watching TV Land and seeing old Flip Wilson skits on Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, and Flip would play a drag queen called “Geraldine”. She would always say, “what you see is what you get”. I would laugh at that back then and think how funny. Recently, I have heard many people using this phrase to describe their approach to life and love and I think hmm, now that is not funny. I don’t want to be perceived as a what you see is what you get woman. I am complex and inviting and warm and funny and well there is so much of me that you will not just see with a casual glance or short meeting. The more time we spend together, the more you will be exposed to various nuggets of my personality, values, beliefs and goals for life. In time you will know if the first viewing, initial meeting and subsequent affiliation with me, all aligns with what you envisioned for the person you want in your life. This is not just for a relationship even though relationships should, in my opinion come from solid friendships, but for everyone and all kind of friendships. Today we want it quick, fast and efficient, so I do believe we are missing out on very valuable experiences and awesome friendships.
Now, maybe a lot of us get this and we are like, whew, thank goodness that ain’t me. What about those of us who use WYSIWYG to actually get into a relationship? We see someone we are attracted to and after spending short bursts of time with each other, our hormones all excited, we decide, yes this person is the one for me. It’s reminiscent of what we see on the tv show The Bachelor/Bachelorette, we enjoy all kinds of fun dating experiences and a couple of sleep-overs and we are in love and ready to commit. We are firmly on our way to seeing what we want to see and of course seeing is believing right? Wrong! Later when lust/infatuation wears off, you will be staring reality in the face and you may not like what you see and you sure will not be happy with what you got. I have a thought, when it comes to relationships, give yourself at least 1 year and definitely date for all 4 seasons to see if this person is the right person for you and one worthy of your total commitment. However once you are committed, I believe you should give yourself another year to two years before you marry. It is important that you go through several situations so you can observe how you deal with possible conflicts and how you act in different environments. These are the things that bond you together and make you a team, consequently showing you how you do fit into each others’ life so you will clearly see that you are a great team. See, we have to be prepared to loose something, so we can gain something and keep it. Just remember in relationships we always want to maintain excitement and keep it fresh. However, you want when you say to your partner, “hang in there baby cause you ain’t seen nothing yet” they will smile cause they know you and they will feel excited knowing it has got to be something good!!