Nothing is more beautiful, captivating, attractive and sensual than a woman with a gentle and peaceable spirit! This is what I see when I look at my mother. I think to myself, will it take me till my 80’s to get there? Then I quickly rationalize this and realize, no it won’t because what she had to learn through life, I am benefiting through instruction and advice. Then I smile and think again of how wonderfully lucky I am because in this life, the thing I see the most, is that people are longing and needing sound sage advice. More than money, more than love more than friends, we want to know we are making good life choices. As women we struggle with this because a lot of us learn our lessons the hard way. We learn about men, relationship, sex and love through much pain and heartache. We travel a busy highway filled with the potholes of emotional scars, broken hearts, sleepless nights, abuse and much confusion. I have always said to my friends, I do not have to do the wrong thing to learn the lesson, I trust when I see others go through painful lessons that this could very well be my outcome if I follow that same path. I love adventure and adrenaline but not when it comes to my heart. I do not believe I will love deeper or better once my heart has been trampled over many times by a callous dishonorable man. In fact, I actually think that is the perfect recipe to become bitter, confused, disillusioned and angry. So I will tell you like my mother told me. Ladies and gentlemen take your time. I know in this day and age, everything that we learn seems to carry a caution that we should act now! Don’t wait! This deal will be gone soon! Get yours today! I include the men because I will talk about you later. Oh you know I am an equal opportunity type woman :).
I tend to stress a woman’s role in relationship and life a bit more, because I believe we are the architects of life and love. Because we bring forth God’s most wonderful gift, life, we set the tone. The men we choose, if chosen with care will set the pace. Yes, I do believe real true honorable men set the pace in relationships. I believe a man should lead. It is in his nature and mentality. This is how he was created and when he is functioning in this manner he is a self-assured man ready to partner you. To that end I have observed certain rules I believe we should follow in order to by past the aforementioned road of pain I spoke about. The first and most important attribute we must be aware of is the one we should have in ourselves called self-love. If you don’t have this, STOP right here and take yourself off the market. I spoke about this in a previous post, so I will move on to the next. Ladies if you don’t listen to anything I say, please take this advice, learn how to tell the difference between an HONORABLE and a DISHONORABLE man. Do not date and especially do not marry until you know the difference. Honorable men are protectors, they will guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor and be the first to stand up for your mental and physical well-being. A dishonorable man will toy with your emotions without one ounce of concern or compassion. Sex is nothing but a sport to him and you are just another conquest. We can all agree that a woman’s soul is a delicate thing, and these men do not consider you as a delicate soul, but as an object that is there solely for their own use and purpose, and we all know what happens to something after it has served it’s purpose. Do your homework ladies, study well and study often. Learn how to tell the difference between these men. One summer I spent several days with a dear, dear woman my niece’s grandmother and to me I adopted her as my beloved grandmother as well. She was affectionately known to most as Mamma. She had so many tidbits to offer on how to see that honorable man. She herself has been blessed with such a man. I remember her saying that “a man will not be perfect and he will do things that will irritate you, but if he cares that it upsets you then hang on to him. Having a man that cares is more important than having a man that doesn’t make mistakes, plus there is no man that makes no mistakes.” I chuckled because I think she already knew that what plagues my generation is our impatience. We cannot see the forest from the trees and we want it all now. Mamma was incredible, God rest her beautiful soul.
Men, if you are in the process of trying to find out who you are, do us a favor and get off the market too! To be the strong individual capable of leading a relationship and family you must be in tune with yourself. Now is not the time to look for love and play with emotions. Please find mentors who can help you MASTER MANHOOD.
Although, I have several other insights, this is a blog entry not a book so I will continue with this topic at a future date. However, I will leave you with this, when searching for advice, men do not obtain it from dishonorable males and women do not obtain it from angry bitter women. Failure to do so will cause a broken heart, YOURS!