Why he will NEVER pop THE QUESTION!

 

Man+Love=Marriage, not always!

You love him, he definitely loves you. He tells you he loves you and he does loving things for you. Still it is several years and he has not made the ultimate commitment of marriage. So, you wait and you are patient. Still nothing! You become anxious and you start to look for answers as to why he won’t commit. You consult everything from your girlfriend to magazines to his guy friends. It leaves you even more confused than before and now you have all those people up in your business because you have invited them by confiding in them. The frustration grows!

Why won’t he commit? Now, here it comes! The self-doubt and sometimes anger at the situation. So you bring it up to him again and again. Is it something you are doing or not doing you ask? He assures you you are fine baby. But you are not feeling fine, you are feeling confused but mostly, you are feeling like you are ready to settle down and become a wife. So for you the matter is not settled. You think to yourself, are you good enough? Sexy enough? Is your sex good? You are asking all those questions convinced that it must be something WRONG with YOU and that is why he is not committing. But he has told you he loves you, you’re great!

Well, it is time to stop thinking about YOU and start thinking about HIM. Not what he is not giving you or what he should be doing for you, but what is it that he needs. You see, most men make decisions based on one thing. Their GUT! As women, mostly we make decision emotionally and through our heart. Even when we say we are not following our heart and try to make a decision based on what our brain says, we still revert back to our emotions because we are emotional creatures. Men are not emotional creatures. Yes, they do feel emotions strong emotions like the kind that lets them know that they love you. That is real to them and for them, but not enough for them. Not when it comes to making a decision that will impact their life. Women listen to their intuition, men listen to their gut. They listen to what their gut is telling them.

A man’s gut feelings is what directs him and helps him make major decisions. While their gut can at times be in sync with his heart and emotions, it is not always that way. I know you may be saying what does his gut feelings have to do with him getting married IF in fact he loves me and he acknowledges this? Well, men’s gut feelings are a lot like our intuition. It is that little voice that says BUT. I love her, but she does not support me like I would want my wife and partner to support me. I love her but, she does not encourage me to let down my armor and reveal all of me. I love her, but will she still love me if I had nothing to give and wondering what my next move is going to be. These are the things every man needs to have an answer to before he makes that ultimate commitment. Men want us to love the real them, but because they are men they are not taught to show the real them. To be vulnerable and open. Only a woman who can put her wants aside to view this man on not only the surface but deep down will see this and work to nurture him in a way that will let him know he can trust her and depend on her and consequently open up to her. 20 different sex positions don’t matter really. Sexiest, tightest body is nice but a warm, caring, giving heart trumps that for real, ready to commit men.

When a man gets to the place where he is actually thinking about marriage these are some of the pivotal things that is on his mind and these are some of the things he must see in a woman. You can’t fake him out, trick him or even give him ultimatums. You just can’t fool your way around this. You have to truly be about HIM. Making grand gestures where you show the ultimate trust in him is priceless to men who want to find a wife. Oh, they will be with you even if you are whiny, crying and spoiled. They may even indulge some of it, but if in all that they don’t see where you are wholly committed to them, their comfort and happiness what makes them tick, what their dreams are and how you can help them achieve it, then they are not going to marry you! Women marry for love and security and men marry for love and support. Men want to be loved for who they really are, but for them to show you who they really are they have to be comfortable and confident when they are looking that they see the real you!

 

Peace & Light

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About Caroll Atkins

Loving Designing Living!! All forms of design intrigue me. As a graphic designer, I design for my livelihood (C.A.SlyDesigns) but as a writer, I do it for my living! At this time in my life, I MUST write. LoveDesignLife, is my joy and my gift to you. If my articles resonate with you, I pray they will also help you in life much as living them and writing about them has helped me. Today, it is no longer about thinking outside of the box. It’s bigger!! It is all about “Transcending the sphere!” coined by yours truly. I work hard to accomplish my goals. However, if I ever fall short I don’t worry I just eat cake cause tomorrow is another day!!
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8 Responses to Why he will NEVER pop THE QUESTION!

  1. You’re so right when you say most women make relationship decision based on emotions. As I get older, I try to be a bit more logical & use my gut, heart and brain to come up with an answer! Carl, so true, b/c the guy I’m dating said I finally got on board and am ride or die! lol

    • A lot has changed with relationships, but some things stay the same. When it comes to men who are serious and want to settle down it is simple. Love, support and taking the time to see the real him these are the things that matter to him. You can only see this and give this if you are functioning with both your heart and brain. Emotions can leave you being selfish and self involved. Thanks for sharing!

  2. I think you hit it on the head. Ladies should also be careful with what they say. sometimes we say things just to say them or to talk out are thoughts. If we say them out loud, rest assured that your man is listening. Make sure that if you are looking to take your relationship to that next level that you’re words are in line with that thinking. Any kind of doubt, said out loud, is sure to work against you.

    • Thank Arelis! You know coming from you this is the gold standard :) You are absolutely right about speaking out loud too! We have to take responsibility and know that being a loose cannon or chatty Cathy is for the grade school playground where we learn more gentle consequences. As an adult, that just won’t fly! Thanks for your comments, as always I appreciate you and them.

      Peace & Light

  3. chewsylovers says:

    Buckaroo is sitting here with me reading this. Yes! Yes! and Yes!! This was a great read and so true. I unfortunately learned the hard way. For such a long time I thought something was wrong with ME!! But I have the right husband now, and he has the right wife. He popped the question no problem!!!

    • Ohhhh I LOVE to hear that! I went out on a limb and wrote this based on several years of really focusing on men and women dynamics. I listened intently and asked what many said was crazy questions. Well, they brought me to this. Thanks so much ChewsyLovers! I am so happy you have posted this response. It really is so gratifying to get feedback from both men and women.

      Peace & Light

      • Carl Pontiak says:

        This pretty much sums up what many men are seeking from a woman…unconditional love that soothes they fears and shows them support in success or failure! A man wants a or die female, not one who starts giving attitude when the money is short. If he sees a big difference in how you treat him when cash flow is great compared to when it’s tight, you just placed reservations in his head and heart!
        If you show no interest in his interests even as he supports all your interests….you are blowing up the relationship piece by piece. A shrewd man takes note of all the slights you show him and the triggers!

      • Thanks Carl for your comment. I don’t profess to know everything about a man, but what I do know and I have learned I felt I should share for anyone who desires benefit. It is so good to know that men are validating what I have written. We want better relationships but in this day and age it seems everything leads us to being selfish and the casualty of this is broken people and broken relationships.

        Peace & Light

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